Thursday, August 11, 2011

Mother Nature can go fuck herself

So as you might have guessed from what Nessa had to say, it was not a straightforward train ride.  Unless all of your train rides involve supernatural monster trees grabbing hold of the train, forcing you to jump off and fight it.  If that is the case...I recommend taking a bus.

When the tree cranked to a stop, a strange fog crept over the surrounding track.  The forest nearby suddenly seemed a lot less pretty and a lot more...forbidding.  I could feel the same strange sensation I got from Zero's forest- the Bleeding Tree, again.  For a moment, I felt like this was it.  This thing had killed Zero, and now it wanted us, and of course it was US it was after, that's just our luck.

The sight of Nessa snapped me out of it, though.  She looked scared, and I realized that I have way more combat experience than she does- she was counting on me to get her out of this alive.  I didn't have time to be afraid.  I wrenched open a window and told Nessa I'd be right back.  This is called a lie, children, you tell them this so they don't panic.  I jumped out and saw instantly that a giant tree branch or root or whatever was sticking out of the ground and had grabbed onto the back of the train.  It didn't seem to have a very strong grip, which was the curious part...It's possible that it was draining the power out of the train.

I started towards it, when a smaller root burst out of the ground and nearly impaled me.  I dodged it but it sliced open my shoulder.  I began to run for my target, but the root followed me and wrapped around my shoulder, and started to contract, hard.  At the same time, my arm felt...weaker, somehow.  It was harder to move it, it felt almost like the life was being drained out of it.  On top of that, it was contracting harder and harder, I think it was trying to break my shoulder.  Well, if it did THAT I would've been fucked, so I resorted to desperate measures.  Pulling out the handgun I'd bought in DC (long story), I shot a fairly high-caliber bullet at the root.

Well, it bounced off, even at point blank.  Still, I could hear a tiny crack, like I had managed to chip it.  The root stopped moving, and I threw it off.  I could hear it snaking back up as I ran, though, so I guess I just stunned it.  Well, what works works, as they say. (I think I heard someone say that once)  I emptied the rest of the clip into the huge root grabbing the train, and although I don't think every bullet hit, it slunk off and fell to the ground.  The train regained power almost immediately and started chugging its way along.  I knew there was no chance I'd be able to get back on.  It was time to go out in a blaze of glory.  I turned and kept my eyes trained high- if what Zero said was true, looking into the Tree's eyes spelled madness for any human.

There it was.  Huge, imposing, the mere sight of the bark made me ill, especially due to the bodies inside of it.  It was just like Zero had described it- and speaking of Zero, his corpse was among those impaled upon the branches.  Don't ask me how the fuck that works- maybe it went back for the body, maybe it was just screwing with me.  If so, it did the wrong damn thing, cause the sight of his corpse defiled even more pissed me right the fuck off.

I hefted a canister of petrol and threw it right at the woody fucker.  It broke apart at the trunk and started to spill out over it.  At that point, about eight or so roots burst out of the ground and ensnared me, pulling me to lie flat on the dirt, the other half of my plan still in my hand.  It...hurt.  That's all I can really say.  All of those roots were cutting into me, squeezing me, and this time I felt like my whole body was weakening.  There was a crack and SOMETHING snapped, I'd later find out it was my shoulder.  I felt...compelled to raise my head.  I resisted it, knowing that it was trying to make me into Zero Jr or something by getting me to look into its eyes.  The roots started crushing me against the ground, and I almost blacked out then and there.

Then I died.  Yeah, it killed me.  The end.  ...PSYCHE!  Attentive viewers will note that if I died here it would probably be impossible for me to update this blog again and it would probably fall to that stalker girl of mine who hates punctuation.

Slowly, I managed to push back against the ensnaring roots (this is sounding like terrible slashfic.  that is to say, normal slashfic) and hoist myself into a position where I was on my knees.  It made the damn things cut into me all the more, but I ignored the pain and raised my right arm, throwing my other weapon- a Molotov Cocktail.  It burst against the tree and ignited the petrol.

Immediately, I felt the roots slacken their grip.  There was a strange sort of...I don't even know what to call it, it was a noise, but nothing like I'd ever heard before, and it sounded more like it was in my mind than my ears.  It made me think of...rage, and pain.  Looking up, I saw that I'd managed to set a small part of the surrounding woodlands on fire.  The Tree was slowly getting engulfed by the flames.  Getting to my feet, I watched carefully.  All of a sudden, two of the branches flew at me, burning, and wrapped themselves all around my arms, dragging me forward. I felt my skin getting burnt and cut and I was completely out of energy, I couldn't do a damn thing to stop this except dig my feet into the ground, which slowed it down only a bit.

Suddenly, the branches fell away as well.  I took another look up and saw that the Tree was completely covered in flames.  Slowly, the massive proportions of it seemed to vanish, as did the bodies and blood.  Soon it was a normal tree again, though still aflame.  I didn't have the presence of mind to think about what that meant.  All I could do was hoist myself against a different tree and watch the fire die down, and it did after a while.  I can't really remember it well.  Before I knew it, Nick was walking towards me.

He said, "Nicely done."

I gave him the best grin I could manage.  "Don't think it's gone for good.  But I hurt it bad, I'm pretty sure."  I started to feel a bit light-headed.  "You don't need blood to live, do you..?" At the time, this was a fairly serious concern for me, having just lost a ton.  I blacked out before I heard his reply.

And woke up in this FREAKING HOSPITAL!  This is just fucking insane, it's like being in prison.  The damn doctors have hardly let me move since I got in.  I HATE doctors.  Friggin' overpaid prison wardens, can't tell ME what to do.  Nick took my weapon bag back to his place, so I can't even pretend to be psycho and force my way out.  And he's BLACKMAILING ME to stay!  Never mind how.

Bright side: Nessa's fine.  I kicked the Bleeding Tree's ass.  All in all, I think it was a good day.

Today?  Not so much.  I'm in this friggin' place for a little over a week.  A WEEK!  HONESTLY!  You are a DEAD MAN w hen I get out of this albino deathtrap, Amalga!  Fuck doctors, fuck trees, fuck nature in general, AND FUCK YOU!

...alright, I feel better now.  That's about it.  Keep you posted.

11 comments:

  1. Konaa. I'm so fucking glad you're okay. I'm going to kick your ass for scaring all of us like that.

    Stay put, I know hospitals suck, trust me, I know, but you need to get better.

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  2. KONAA KONAA Konaa konaa Oh thank goodness you're alright. It was terrified. You stupid brave boy, I love you. You crazy, crazy brave boy. Oh goodness...

    I just... I'm so happy you're alive. I wish I could come visit but my hands are full with other things... but If I could I would snuggle your pain away!

    Hee sorry. Uhm. I'm just really happy okay? I hope you heal up quick, hun.

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  3. Like I told you in person: The more you get hit, the more you're going to GET hit. You're staying there until you heal, period.

    And my exact response was: "Idiot."

    Stop taking ridiculous risks! You'll only help people if you're ALIVE to help them. You're a guy on foot with whatever tools he can pull together. That means making plans, calculating risks, and generally being smarter than "LOL, lets take on a Giant Tree of Death!"

    USE YOUR HEAD, goddamn it.

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  4. What was the alternative, sit in the train and let me AND Nessa get eaten or whatever the hell it does?

    This way she's alive and I'm intact. ...Mostly.

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  5. Jeje, you are already reminding me someone. Hope you get better. And whatever you doo, dont eat hospital's jell-o flavor green tone #2. When I was hospitalized once that shit's flavor made me even sicker.

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  6. Konaa.
    Konaa, you are a FUCKING DUMBASS.
    (I'm also really fucking proud of you)
    Fuck, what, did I say something?

    The doctors know best. Get a little bedrest, kid. I'll break you out if you REALLY need it, but for now, stay put, alright?

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  7. ....Okay seriously, are you and Elaine trying to replace my parents or something? Thanks for the sentiment, I guess, but I don't need you guys to keep babying me. It wastes all of our time.

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  8. But of course~! I waste time for a living, but it seems that all these clients enjoy the deliveries.

    (See my point?)

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  9. -_- don't you have a canister of PLOT ITEM to deliver to some jerk holed up in his basement?

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  10. ...
    Glad they're letting you on TVtropes in there, then.

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  11. ...

    Now there's a fucking tree I have to worry about, too? GREAT...

    I hope you have a speedy recovery, Konaa.

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