Retract my earlier comment about gangster wannabes

It seems like I get attacked every time I head into Boston these days.  Maybe it's something in the water.

Same story as last time.  I was on my way to catch the train home, and my path led me through a less populated area.  There was a warehouse and some construction work, but it looked like they had all gone home for the day.  I was walking through, when I heard someone calling out my online handle again.  I hoped it was just someone who made an impossibly lucky guess about who I was from a friendly person who'd read my blog.

Spoilers, it was not.  Turning about, I saw a black guy of medium height.  He was dressed pretty normally, except for a leather jacket.  He was also packing a knife in his belt, which appears to be standard issue for proxies these days.  And he was a lot more talkative than the last guy.

"Yo!  How's it hanging, K-man?  Stayin' cool?"

"...Um, frozen.  Who're you?"

"Oh come on, dog, you know me.  I'm the frosty brother what's been postin' on your little blog!  You know...Ridley?  Riddles?  The R-man?"

And I'm not exaggerating here.  That's what he said.  Ridley...Archangel's friend.  Local psycho proxy.

"You're the bastard that killed Roman's brother?"

"Huh?  Oh, that little bitch.  Yeah, he was bugging me, so I split him open.  Simple and perfect.  Now, the Master ain't too happy that you've been poking into our new Princess' business.  Who said you could go in and screw around with true love, eh?"

I got mad then- not very usual for me.  "You tell that asshole friend of yours to stay the hell away from her."

He laughed.  "Dog, what, you in love with her too now or somethin'?  Get it through your brain, she don't WANT to be saved, y'dig?"

I didn't have an answer for him.  I'm not sure I do, even now.  Didn't have to give one, though, since he changed subjects pretty fast.

"So the Boss can't see you.  Sucks, eh?  I'll give you one chance, dog.  Come chill with us and I might not have to hurt you."

I pretended to ponder this.  "Hm, well, on the one hand, pain is bad.  On the other...I'm allergic to assholes."

"Aw see, why'd you go and say that?  Now I gotta gut you good and proper."  He started towards me.  I gave him my most winning smile and prepared to deflect him with the power of a diplomatic solution.

"You look like a tool, Ridley.  Did you get caught in the middle of Garment District on the way over or something?  Cause I mean, WOW, that jacket makes you look like a-"

Then he punched me in the face.  I think this is a bad habit.

Again, I'll spare you the details.  I got one or two hits in but I wasn't any match for him in hand to hand combat.  Like I said, I'm a weakling.  He gave me some bruises and then I decided it was time to bolt.  I kicked his leg as hard as I could, which slowed him down a bit.  I think I heard him rattling off every swear word he could think of behind me, but I wasn't listening.  I ducked into the warehouse and looked around.  There were crates...lots of crates.  And a catwalk up above, with an open window, and a fire escape.  That was my way out, if I could outrun Mr. Psycho-mantis back there.  I dragged a crate over to the door and set it in front of it.  Good timing, too, since as I was running for the stairs there was a loud crash.  It didn't take him long to force his way into the warehouse.

Dunno exactly what he did once he got in there, I wasn't really focusing on him until a few seconds later, while he was looking around for me, I guess.  I looked over the railing and saw him.  Yelling something about how I was a little bitch and I should come out and whatever.  I tried to think of a snappy one liner to yell before I did my thing, but nothing came, and besides, yelling it might've alerted him.

That was when I pushed a crate over the railing and directly onto him.

I didn't stop to see how bad it had hurt him, you understand.  I just raced for the fire escape and made it out.  I was around the corner and on the train before he had caught up.

Something tells me that if I sign up for Uncle Slendy's death platoon now, I won't be getting the corner office.