Well, this is awkward.

We all groaned when Sonic Heroes brought back Shadow the Hedgehog (at least, I HOPE we all did) and none of us believed it the second and third times Zero (the MMX character, not the man) died, either.  Coming back from the dead basically leaves a person with no credibility whatsoever, and it's always a bad idea.

So you can kind of understand how this is a little bit of a confusing situation for me.  Let me first confirm- I didn't die.  I don't have any secret ritual that can bring me back to life, I didn't have part of my soul squat in an abandoned cigarette holder just in case some whiny British kid killed me, and I am absolutely not an elf. (thank god)  I was shot by Rhodes, in the center of my chest.  I'd compliment him on his aim if I weren't a little more cross about it.  Then according to Rise (I certainly don't remember, I was kind of in a lot of pain) I was buried under huge chunks of debris as the warehouse came down around us.

I guess the secret technique is "don't actually die."  Cause I didn't.  I lived long enough for the police to dig me out.  The next thing I knew, I was waking up on a hospital bed, with the scars from the surgery starting to heal.  They told me it'd been a week.  Guess I don't do naps by half-measure.

I could barely MOVE, let alone get to a computer, so, you can understand why I was unable to inform you all of the good news.  This time, I was well aware that I could die without the aid, and thus I was less eager to burst out of the hospital.  Oddly enough, they didn't even mention anything about the last time I was hospitalized...  Come to think of it, I never got charged for that.  I guess it was Slender fucking around with shit, again.

Eighteen more days in the hospital, and then I was out.  And ever since then, I've been on the move, hunting down Rhodes.  I kept radio silence for a very specific reason- I wanted to surprise him.  Seriously, posting your intent on your blog happens so much that I was almost overjoyed for the opportunity for some good old fashioned sneaking around.

It didn't give me any pleasure to let those who care about me suffer.  But I was going after Rhodes, a man who kills for fun, and Writer, who he has formed some sort of business pact with (never trust assholes in suits), a guy who can bend reality.  My "death" gave me the perfect opportunity to surprise them, and maybe even fuck up whatever they were planning.  But it was risky.  I didn't want to raise people's hopes, just to let them be dashed all over again.

Another unfortunate side effect was a lonely Christmas.  But...we all make sacrifices.  And that's a relatively small one.

At any rate, last week, I'd tracked Rhodes to Montreal, which is apparently Writer's love nest or something.  I was stalking them down a riverside path, when I spotted a man who'd appeared out of nowhere.  I knew who it was.  And quite suddenly, the three of them vanished.  One of Writer's special little labyrinths, called a Loop.

The last time we broke into a loop, it had...mixed results.  I have a feeling we only got in cause Writer wanted us to.  This time, I was gonna have to get clever.

Or not.  I knew I wasn't likely to be able to exploit the Loop in any way in order to gain entry.  It probably involves bullshit quantum science or something like that.  Writer's a lot more clever than I am.  But he's not nearly as dumb, or single minded.  That was something I could use.

I walked up to the spot where Spencer had been, stuck my hand forward.  Nothing.  Guess it wouldn't be easy, either.  Instead, I took a deep breath and visualized the riverside as it was before the three vanished.  Their positions, and it particularly, Spencer's face.

Throwing my hand forward again, it felt...sluggish.  Like I was moving it through water.  A curious ripple appeared in midair in front of me.  Having seen some pretty weird shit in my time (giant murderous trees come to mind), it was actually kind of tame.  At least the visual effect was.  Mentally, less so.  It felt like someone had applied a pair of psychic pliers or something to my brain.  Crushing, oppressive weight.  I wanted to back out...But I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if I kept pushing.  In my experience, the harder it is to push something, the more satisfying the result is when it comes crashing down.

So I kept going.  And what happened next was surprisingly simplistic.  I broke through the wall of the Loop.  Literally, I could hear a noise like glass shattering, almost.  Maybe it's just cause that was the visual of it I had in my mind.  I could see the three of them, through a weird sort of haze.  As I pushed, the haze started to vanish.  I felt...a bit giddy.  Like, more so than usual.  I attribute it to my brain being squeezed like a lemon.  Hence why the only thing on my mind was what 1950s catchphrase to yell out.  I decided there wasn't enough appreciation for the classics, and made my choice accordingly.

"LUCY, I'M HOOOOOOOOOOME!"

If ONLY I had a camera.  Their faces.  Fucking priceless.  Rhodes in particular was speechless.  I would've liked to have given them a fight, but...Dunno if I could've taken em.  Not with Spencer puking his guts over the pavement.

Speaking of Spencer, he grabbed me and we took the Path out.  As unpleasant an experience as ever.  Luckily, Spence knows what he's doing, whereas when I use it it's akin to a drunken parrot attempting to navigate an alleyway full of used medical syringes and broken bits of glass.

I spent about a day in that House of theirs.  Didn't...really notice anything.  I'd heard stories about how it's a Loop, but it seemed pretty normal to me.  ...Does that make me the crazy one?  Perfect.

But...the good news that I was back was tempered with bad news.  Lia's father died to save her while I was "dead".  So...that's where I've been the past few days.  At her side, where I should've been earlier.  She's...holding up.  I think my flipping death the bird gave her a little bit of hope to stand on.  At least it did some good.

So.  Here I am again.  Not entirely sure what I'm going to do now, to be honest...But to be fair, Lia needs me.  I don't need any other objective than that for now.

But once I've given this wafflegirl all the hugs she needs, I'll probably go find Rise.  Sounds like she needs my help too...

And after that, well, it's a big world, and there's all sorts of trouble I can stir up for our masked friends.  Let's just hope my luck improves a little.

Show's back on the road, people.